Spitted

 I write poems because I'm always

Too tired to talk

Never am I too tired to think

No

So if we talk 

At 10 in the night

When my heart is hurting 

And my mind is trembling 

Please don't act 

Like you care

Please don't pretend

That you're gonna stay

By my side when I need you most

And please don't ignore my thoughts

So you can move on 

Because if I'm willing to spill out

My feelings and thoughts to

You

Then that means that I expect

You to be able to 

Handle them 

Maybe its me.

Fell out of love,
And into the deep abyss.
Left my Mrs.
And found a Miss.
These pills overwhelm me.
They distort my personality.
I rebirthed into a new individual.
Blinded by sex and pain, I can't see.
I just wanna be free,
Have room to be me.
Be whoever the fuck I want to be.
But I'm lost in an ocean of women.
Keep drowning, but I'm still swimmin,
I'm soul searching, while getting wrapped upon sheets.
It's hard not to act when all these girls pretend to be discreet.
I know what they want, the money and the power.
Standing alone, contemplating Destiny in the shower.
And Emily, and Tiffiany, and Haley, and Claire.
I wanna scream to the world, to God,
But I know he don't care.
Is he there?
Probably not for a sinner like me.
But I'm just tryin to be the winner I was born to be.
Growing up, they told me I was gonna succeed great things.
But I'm still sitting here, waiting to grow my wings.
I wanna be successful, but there's so much pressure.
I'm not sayin I don't want it,
But nobody's giving the same effort.
Everybody wants success, but not the work.
These hoes thinking they can get rich from Vining twerks.
I don't even know who the hell to trust anymore.
I drive on the highway, thinking, pedal to the floor. 
What should I do? Where should I go?
Keep performing and driving till the end of the show? End of the road? 
Keep pushing, keep grinding till I'm gone? 
I don't know, maybe I'm the wrong all along.

Let Her Go

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

-Passengger // Let Her Go-

Ruas buku

Birai bibir mu terukir senyuman manis; sinis.

Bingkai kaca mata kau menyenget ke ufuk selatan menonjolkan mata bugal mu yg memandang aku manja; sinis.

Kain selendang mu berkibar melenggok mengikut tiupan angin sepoi di tengah taman permainan di bandar ibarat telenovela tv tiga; sinis. 

Hampir semuanya berkaitan kau,

Bisa menjadikan denyutan nadi berhenti.

Vena aku seperti tersumbat.

Otak aku seperti terkena asap ganja; khayal !

Terpesona dengan indah luaran yang kau sajikan.

O tuhan, indah nya ciptaan kau. 

Tapi, 

Luaran yang indah

Tidak mejanjikan dalaman yg sama indah

Hatimu tidak secantik wajah mu

Perasaan mu tidak seindah parasmu

Bahasa mu tidak menawan seperti bibirmu

O wanita, 

Sedar lah. 

Dunia bukan tempat selamanya.

-apiali- 

#Puisi

I am me.

I sit alone in my room.
The darkness engulfs me as my open window chills me while the breeze kisses goosebumps upon my skin.
I see vividly in the pitch blackness.
Funny,
How you see everything when you can't see at all.
I visualize life and choices.
Mistakes, regrets, happenings.
I am me and nothing can change that.
I did what I did and have no regrets.
Okay, just a few.
But what else is there to do.
It seems I've come to a crossroads in my young adolescence.
Two choices but I can only make one.
Rain pours down and dances down my windowpane and the rhythm puts me into a deep sleep.
Thus, I dream and think nightmarish thoughts that penetrate and rape my morals and what I stand for.
Faithfulness is thrown out the window as I lay awake, shivering and sweating from the dark side of one'a self.
I am me....
No regrets....
Okay, just a few

-apiali-

Matahari

Menerjah pagi sunyi

Jeritan cahaya di celahan jendela

Laungan bahang tanpa suara

Mengejut tidur orang buta

Buta pada indahnya dunia

Indahnya cinta

Syurga sementara

Dunia penuh harta

Kumpul pahala

Mereka buta

Sesungguhnya mereka buta

Jeritan tanpa suara matahari;

Mencelikkan kornea buta

Mencerahkan kabur kanta

Pupil mereka berganda

Retina mereka disergah

Iris mereka merekah

Biar rehat telinga mereka

Biar mata bekerja

Ajar mereka apa erti dunia

Suluhkan mereka apa mereka lupa

Terangkan mereka kabur kelibat pahala

Teruskan kerja kau matahari

Banyak lagi mata buta di sini

Di planet 7 bilion manusia

Hirupan oksigen mereka sia2

Kerana mereka buta

Sesungguhnya mereka semua buta. 

-apiali-